Greetings, fellow seekers of knowledge and gluttons for punishment! It’s time to dive into the treacherous waters of last month’s Elden Ring articles, armed with nothing but our wits and a comically oversized sword (because why not?).
In this edition of “Monthly Posts in a Nutshell”, we’re serving up a smorgasbord of gaming insights spicier than Mohg’s family dinners. We’ve got takes hotter than the Lake of Rot, opinions more divisive than an invasion in Liurnia, and enough gaming wisdom to make even Goldmask nod in approval (or was that just another gesture?).
So grab your Wonderous Physick of Choice (might I suggest a blend of Caffeinated Tear and Attention Span-Boosting Tear?) and prepare to embark on a literary journey through the Lands Between… and beyond! Whether you’re here to learn, laugh or just procrastinate before your next boss fight, we’ve got something for every Tarnished taste. Well, buckle up for a quick recap… and yes, I’ve eaten a clown in preparation for this post!
Is Elden Ring’s Tarnished the Ultimate Hero?
We went full-on myth-buster mode, comparing our favorite Tarnished’s journey to the classic Hero’s Journey. Spoiler alert: It’s wild!
I broke down how Elden Ring both embraces and flips the script on traditional storytelling. We’re talking:
- A call to adventure that’s less “save the princess” and more “hey, want a broken throne?”
- Melina as our not-so-straightforward guide (Gandalf who?)
- The Lands Between: Where every step is a test and every choice matters
- A storyline that’s about as linear as a drunk Erdtree branch
- An ending that leaves you changed, not just victorious
Oh, and I even threw in a tidbit about an AI-generated tune I created that perfectly vibes with our Tarnished’s tale!
Bottom line: Elden Ring isn’t just a game; it’s a masterclass in narrative innovation. It had me questioning everything I thought I knew about heroism… and my gaming skills!
Season 4 of Bingo Brawlers Starts in October 2024
I’ve dug up all the information on the upcoming season while the official Bingo Brawlers website is still snoozing on Season 3 info. Here’s what’s cooking:
- Mark your calendars: October 4th, 2024 is go-time!
- Players start as RL1 weaklings with a fat stack of 160,000 runes.
- Shadow of the Erdtree DLC is the battleground, with our old pal Kalé as the random item vending machine.
- 90+ objectives to juggle on your bingo card. It’s like juggling Torrent, a Troll, and a Talisman all at once!
- Captain_Domo is back as our fabulous MC.
- 10 streamers are ready to brawl.
Elden Ring Fashion: Lionel’s Set can look surprisingly good
Remember when I took a deep dive into Elden Ring’s closet last month? Well, let me give you the skinny on my fashion post!
While cooking up my Godbreaker Strength Build, I stumbled upon a fashion revelation that would make even Malenia turn her head (probably to criticize, but still). Turns out, Lionel’s Set isn’t just for cosplaying as Kung Fu Panda in a can – it’s got some serious style potential!
Ditch Lionel’s chest piece and suddenly you’re strutting the Lands Between runway.
I even threw in some pics for your viewing pleasure. Because let’s face it, in Elden Ring, if you’re gonna die repeatedly, you might as well look fabulous doing it! So, fellow fashionistas, which combo tickles your fancy?
Elden Ring: The Ultimate Guide for Your Strength Build
Attention all Tarnished! We’re back with the ultimate guide to becoming a walking tank in the Lands Between. I’ve cooked up a recipe for destruction that’ll have you BONKing bosses into oblivion!
Here’s the lowdown on “The Godbreaker” build:
- Forget finesse, we’re going full caveman with the Giant-Crusher!
- Armor up like you’re cosplaying as a medieval fortress.
- Attributes? Vigor and Strength are your new best friends.
- Talismans to make you tankier than a… well, tank.
- Sprinkle in some Faith for that extra pizzazz (and buffs).
I’ve packed this guide with everything from early game survival tips to end-game domination strategies. Whether you’re a newbie Tarnished or a seasoned slayer, there’s something here for everyone. Remember, in the world of Big BONK, every problem can be solved by hitting it hard enough.
Elden Ring: How the Community Keeps the Flame Alive
In this deep dive, we explored how our lovably unhinged community keeps the Lands Between feeling fresher than Ranni’s hat. From lore hunters piecing together the world’s history from vague item descriptions (because who needs a straightforward story, right?), to masochistic challenge runners beating the game with a ladle while blindfolded and standing on their heads.
We’ve got fashionistas turning the apocalypse into a runway, speedrunners who become Elden Lord faster than I can decide on my character’s eyebrow shape, and modders who thought, “You know what this horrifying world needs? Thomas the Tank Engine bosses!”. Let’s not forget the PvP gladiators, turning every corner of the map into a fight club, and the content creators who’ve produced more Elden Ring videos than there are stars in the sky.
So, whether you’re piecing together lore, doing a “no damage” run, or just trying to make it through Caelid without crying, remember: in Elden Ring, we’re all mad here – and that’s exactly how we like it!
How to easily defeat the Divine Beast Warrior in Enir-Ilim
In this guide, I’ve cracked the code on how to turn that beefy Divine Beast Warrior from a four-hit combo nightmare into your personal loot piñata. Here’s the scoop:
- Location: Spiral Rise grace in Enir-Ilim. Pro tip: Take out the rooftop sniper first, unless you enjoy holy fireworks aimed at your face.
- Weapon of choice: Staff of the Avatar. Because nothing says “I come in peace” like a massive stick with holy damage.
- Strategy: Timing is everything! Rush in like you’re late for Radagon’s wedding, use that Erdtree Slam to limbo under his sword, then go to town with light attacks.
Oh, and here’s a fun quirk: don’t backstab for the final blow unless you hate runes and loot. Weird bug or intended feature? The mystery continues!
Remember, Tarnished: In Elden Ring, fashion is the true endgame. Now go forth and farm that Divine Beast Set – your mini-Divine-Beast cosplay awaits!
Unlock the Quickest Route to the Shadow of the Erdtree DLC Now
Are you itching to dive into the Shadow of the Erdtree DLC faster than Patches can betray you? Well, grab your flask and hold onto your helmet, because in this guide, I’ve outlined the quickest way to access the new content, perfect for veterans, returnees, and brave newcomers alike. Here’s the TL;DR version:
- Defeat Starscourge Radahn (you know, the guy who makes Torrent look like a My Little Pony).
- Take down Mohg, Lord of Blood (because apparently, being a lord wasn’t enough).
- Give Miquella’s cocoon a friendly pat.
Sounds easy, right? Well, not so fast! We’ve got teleporter chests, festival crashes and enough of a blood-soaked favor to make a vampire blush. But fear not! I’ve detailed every shortcut, from Limgrave to Mohgwyn Palace, faster than you can say “You Died.”
For the truly impatient, I even tested this route myself. Despite some… unfortunate encounters with gravity (my eternal nemesis), I reached the DLC in under two hours. Not too shabby for someone who still gets lost in Roundtable Hold!
Remember, Tarnished: In Elden Ring, the journey is just as important as the destination. But if you’re in a hurry, feel free to use this guide to zoom past the scenery. Just don’t blame me when you miss out on all the lovely views of… checks notes… swamps, rot and more swamps.
The Ever-Changing Dance of Elden Ring: How FromSoftware Keeps Us on Our Toes
We explore the wild world of nerfs, buffs, and everything in between. It’s like watching a cosmic ballet, if the dancers were constantly tripping and the choreographer was a sadistic puppeteer (looking at you, Miyazaki).
From weapons that go from god-tier to wet noodles faster than you can say “You Died,” to spells suddenly becoming more popular than Ranni body pillows, we’re all just rats in FromSoftware’s twisted maze. And the cheese keeps moving!
I break down how these updates keep us more engaged than a Mimic Tear at a personality convention. It’s FromSoftware’s own version of “Extreme Makeover: Build Edition,” and we can’t stop watching!
So, whether you’re a hardened Elden Lord or fresh meat for the grinder, this article is your guide to surfing the chaos waves and maybe, just maybe, avoiding that controller-shaped hole in your wall.
Shadow of the Erdtree: My Final Verdict On The Elden Ring DLC
In my review on the Elden Ring DLC, I explore the highs (quite literally) and lows of FromSoftware’s latest creation. From landscapes emptier than my wallet after a Steam sale to dungeons more complex than Mohg’s family tree, this DLC has it all!
I’ve swung new weapons that make the Blasphemous Blade look like a butter knife (well, still a very dangerous one), and others that are about as useful as tickling Malenia with a feather. I’ve gotten lost in maps so vertical, they’d make M.C. Escher dizzy, and faced bosses so tough, they’d make base game Radahn cry for his mommy (or his tiny horse).
Is it perfect? Well, let’s just say some areas are as empty as my brain after a marathon gaming session. But hey, at least we can enjoy the solitude while getting our butts handed to us in new and exciting ways!
Check it out and let me know: Has Shadow of the Erdtree left you vertically challenged, or are you riding high on the pain train? The comments section awaits your tales of triumph, despair, and getting lost for the 47th time!
And there you have it, fellow Tarnished! Nine articles of pure, unadulterated gaming wisdom, served with a side of snark and a sprinkle of madness. We’ve journeyed through the highs and lows of the gaming world faster than a speedrunner on Red Bull.
From the vertical insanity of Shadow of the Erdtree to the ever-changing dance of Elden Ring patches, we’ve covered more ground than Torrent on a sugar rush. Whether you’re here for the deep dives, the hot takes, or just to feel better about your own gaming skills, I hope this literary feast has left you satisfied (and only mildly confused).
Until next month, keep your reflexes sharp, your load times short, and your sense of humor intact. Because in the world of gaming, if you’re not laughing, you’re probably crying – or stuck in a loading screen.
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