In the ever-expanding menagerie of peculiar combat companions available to the Tarnished, the Spider Scorpion Ashes stand out as nature’s answer to the question, “What if we combined two terrifying things and somehow made them less effective than either?”
Entry 3,141,593 in the Lands Between Edition: Spider Scorpion Ashes
(Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Questionable Arthropods)
This delightful specimen from the Shadow of the Erdtree can be found lounging beneath its ceiling-dwelling cousin, presumably having given up on the whole “being scary” thing entirely.
The summon requires 41 FP, a number that the Committee for Spiritually Summoned Specimen Standardization apparently arrived at by allowing a particularly indecisive abacus to make the final decision. This relatively modest FP cost might lead one to believe they’re getting a bargain, much like finding a discount on slightly dented suits of armor.
Native to the realm of shadow, these creatures were originally of a more reasonable size, but like many things in the Lands Between, someone apparently decided that “bigger” meant “better” – a philosophy that has worked out about as well as using a greataxe to butter toast. The Church of the Bud takes credit for their current dimensions, though the Guide suggests this may be less of an achievement and more of a confession.
DON’T PANIC if you notice your arachnid ally seeming somewhat confused about its own existence. This is perfectly normal for a creature that appears to be the result of nature having a particularly creative brainstorming session.
Pros:
- Unique design that answers the question “What if we made nightmare fuel, but friend-shaped?”
- Can apply poison status to enemies (though with all the enthusiasm of a sloth on vacation)
- Costs fewer FP than explaining to a merchant why you need 600 poison arrows
- Occasionally remembers it has pincers and a tail, much to everyone’s surprise
Cons:
- Combat effectiveness comparable to threatening a dragon with a strongly worded letter
- Survivability roughly equivalent to a snowman in a volcano
- Damage output suggests it’s fighting enemies with strongly worded suggestions rather than actual attacks
- General performance indicates it may be having an existential crisis mid-battle
The Guide feels compelled to note that while the Spider Scorpion Ashes do technically qualify as a combat summon, this is much like qualifying a paper boat as a seaworthy vessel. It excels primarily at creating the sort of confusion that can only come from watching a creature that can’t quite decide if it wants to be a spider or a scorpion attempt to engage in combat.
Usage Tips:
- Most effective when enemies are already poisoned and you just want to remind them about it
- Excellent for convincing bosses that they’re having a particularly strange dream
- Can be used to make other spirit summons feel significantly better about their life choices
Rating: 4.2 out of 10 on the “At Least It’s Trying Its Best” scale
Note: The Guide accepts no responsibility for any philosophical discussions that may arise from contemplating the evolutionary path that led to this creature’s existence.
Cross-reference: See “Why Some Spirit Ashes Need Career Counseling” (Entry 2,718,282) and “Hybrid Creatures: When Nature Can’t Make Up Its Mind” (Entry 1,618,034).
… and by the way: Looking for more insights into the peculiar world of Elden Ring? Check out our other Guides&Tips stuffed with valuable information for you survival in the Lands Between and the Realm of Shadow.
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