Dear adventurers of the Lands Between,
Elden Ring is more than just a game (I think, I wrote that just previously) – it’s a vast, mysterious world waiting to be discovered. But how does one approach this epic task? Today, we’re taking a NOT entirely serious look at the various types of explorers roaming the Lands Between. I have identified a plethora of different explorer types and assume you know even more, but let’s have a look at the first seven…
The Meticulous Cartographer
You’re the Magellan of the Lands Between, leaving no pixel unexplored. Your map is a masterpiece of colorful markers, each with its own intricate labeling system. You’ve developed an uncanny sixth sense for hidden paths and illusory walls. Friends marvel at your ability to navigate without fast travel, while you scoff at their reliance on such shortcuts.
Your greatest achievement? Discovering a cave that even the developers forgot about. Your worst nightmare? A game update that adds new areas. But let’s be honest, that’s also your secret dream. For you, true victory isn’t beating the game—it’s unveiling every square inch of it.
The Sprint Champion
You’re the Usain Bolt of Elden Ring, a blur of motion across the Lands Between. Your thumb is permanently glued to the sprint button, and you’ve worn out more controllers than most players have died to Malenia. Exploration? That’s just the time between boss fights. You’ve mastered the art of dodging enemies, traps, and entire questlines with equal agility.
Your map is mostly blank, but who needs directions when you’re moving too fast to read them anyway? You’ve probably missed 90% of the game’s content, but hey, you’ve got the best cardio in the Lands Between. Torrent is your soulmate! Your motto: “I am speed!” (And yes, you have more stamina than a marathon runner on steroids.)
The Lore Junkie
You’re not just playing Elden Ring; you’re decoding it. Every item description is a sacred text, every NPC dialogue a potential revelation. You’ve filled notebooks with theories, timelines, and family trees of characters most players have never heard of. Your friends are tired of hearing about the deep lore implications of that random pot you found in a corner. You spend more time on lore YouTube channels than actually playing the game. Boss fights are just inconvenient interruptions to your archaeological expedition. You’re convinced that if you just read one more item description, you’ll finally understand what’s really going on in the Lands Between. Maybe…
The Treasure Hunter
You’re the Indiana Jones of Elden Ring, with a sixth sense for loot that would make metal detectors obsolete. No chest is too well hidden, no corpse too decomposed to escape your keen eye. You’ve mastered the art of parkour just to reach that shiny thing on the cliff. Your inventory is a hoarder’s dream, filled with items you’ll “definitely use someday.” You’ve perfected the “leave no stone unturned” approach, often literally turning over rocks in case there’s something underneath.
Boss fights are just obstacles between you and your next treasure. Your greatest achievement? Finding that one legendary weapon before it was cool. Your motto? “X marks the spot… somewhere.” Your nightmare? An area without loot. (But honestly, does that even exist in Elden Ring? Ok, maybe it’s somewhere in the Land of Shadow…)
The Social Butterfly
For you, Elden Ring isn’t just a game—it’s a bustling social network. Your summon sign is everywhere, and you’ve got more multiplayer passwords than friends in real life. Co-op isn’t just fun; it’s a lifestyle. You’ve perfected the art of gestures, conveying complex strategies through interpretive dance. Invaders don’t scare you; they’re just spicy new friends. Your idea of exploration is joining random players’ worlds and showing them all the cool spots. You’ve probably helped defeat Malenia more times than you’ve progressed in your own game. The Lands Between isn’t a deadly, hostile world to you—it’s the ultimate social playground. Your dream? A huge Elden Ring convention where you can finally meet all your phantom friends.
The Screenshot Artist
You’re the Ansel Adams of the Lands Between, armed with a camera instead of a sword. Every vista is a potential masterpiece, every boss fight a photo opportunity. You’ve died countless times trying to get that perfect action shot. Your hard drive is bursting with screenshots, 99% of which you’ll never look at again.
You’ve mastered the art of finding the game’s most picturesque locations, often stumbling upon major plot points by accident while searching for the perfect lighting. Your friends are tired of your impromptu slideshows, but your gaming social media is a work of art. For you, the real endgame is curating your virtual photo album. Who needs Rune Arcs when you can collect digital memories?
The Aspiring Speedrunner
You’re the Flash of Elden Ring, always racing against the clock. Normal gameplay? Boring. You live for glitches, exploits, and frame-perfect inputs. Your runs are a ballet of precise movements and questionable physics. You’ve memorized every skip, every sequence break, and every boss cheese. The game’s expansive world is just an obstacle course to be optimized.
You’ve died more times practicing a single skip than most players have in their entire playthrough. Your friends are impressed by your sub-hour completion time, but they don’t understand the hundreds of hours of practice behind it. For you, the real boss isn’t Malenia—it’s the timer. Your mantra: “Time is runes, and runes are power!”
No matter what type of explorer you are, Elden Ring offers endless possibilities for every approach. The variety of ways to explore makes the game so fascinating and always fresh. So, how to do you approach the game? Perhaps you’ve recognized yourself in one of the descriptions above.
But wait, there’s more to come! In our next installment, we’ll uncover even more fascinating species of Elden Ring adventurers. Until then, may your rolls be precise and your victories sweet!
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Please note: This article was created using the help of AI (claude-3-5-sonnet-20240620)
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