In the ever-expanding catalog of “Spirits You Might Want to Summon If All Your Better Options Have Mysteriously Vanished,” we find ourselves examining the curious case of Black Knight Captain Huw, a spirit whose very existence raises the question: “What if we made a knight who’s really enthusiastic about dying?”
Entry 3,141,593 in the Realm Of Shadow Edition: Black Knight Captain Huw Ashes
The Committee for Unnecessarily Complex Combat Solutions has truly outdone themselves with this one, setting the FP cost at 105 – a number that suggests they’ve started generating costs by rolling dice while blindfolded. This is roughly equivalent to the energy required to power a small village, or in more practical terms, enough FP to cast several perfectly respectable spells and still have change left over for a cup of cosmic tea.
Found in the Scorpion River Catacombs (because apparently, regular catacombs weren’t deadly enough), Captain Huw represents what happens when someone looks at the concept of a knight and thinks, “What if we gave him wings and a profound disregard for self-preservation?”
DON’T PANIC if you notice your summoned captain performing what appears to be an interpretive dance with a twinblade while sprouting wings. This is entirely intentional, though the purpose remains as mysterious as why anyone thought putting scorpions in a river was a good idea in the first place.
The Guide would like to note that while Captain Huw possesses the impressive ability to utilize powers of the Crucible, this is rather like giving a chicken sophisticated military training – theoretically impressive, but in practice, somewhat less effective than hoped.
Pros:
- Approaches combat with the enthusiasm of a caffeinated squirrel
- Occasionally remembers he has wings, leading to spectacular if not always effective aerial displays
- Makes an excellent conversation starter (“Why yes, that is a knight doing backflips”)
- Demonstrates remarkable consistency in finding new and innovative ways to perish
Cons:
- Defensive capabilities comparable to a paper umbrella in a hurricane
- Has apparently never heard of the concept of “blocking”
- Tendency to get stun-locked by enemies that a stiff breeze could defeat
- Wings appear to be more decorative than functional, like a tie at a formal dinner
Usage Tips:
- Best deployed when you need to convince a boss that you’re not taking them seriously
- Particularly effective at drawing enemy attention, mostly through sheer audacity
- Can serve as an excellent example of what not to do in combat situations
The Guide rates Captain Huw a solid 4 out of 10 on the “At Least It’s Entertaining” scale, placing him firmly in the category of “Spirits That Make Other Spirits Feel Better About Themselves.”
Note: The Guide accepts no responsibility for any emotional distress caused by watching a supposedly elite knight get repeatedly knocked over by basic enemies.
Cross-reference: See “Why Wings Don’t Always Equal Victory” (Entry 2,718,282) and “The Curious Correlation Between FP Cost and Disappointment” (Entry 1,618,034).
Warning: Side effects may include questioning your life choices, developing an irrational fear of scorpions, and a deep-seated suspicion of anyone who claims to be both a captain and a knight.
… and by the way: Looking for more insights into the peculiar world of Elden Ring? Check out our other Guides&Tips stuffed with valuable information for you survival in the Lands Between and the Realm of Shadow.
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