Ah, the holidays – that magical time of year filled with festive cheer, delicious food, and of course, the inevitable awkward family gatherings. For many of us, the prospect of sitting through hours of forced small talk and dodging probing questions from nosy relatives can be as daunting as facing off against a tough Elden Ring boss.
But fear not, fellow Tarnished! Just as you’ve honed your skills to conquer the Lands Between, you can apply some of those same strategies to survive even the most challenging family dinners.
Be Prepared
First and foremost, let’s talk about preparation. Just like you wouldn’t charge into a boss fight without your trusty weapon and a few healing flasks, it’s important to come to family gatherings armed with some conversational “weapons” of your own. Brush up on current events, memorize a few generic responses to common questions (“Oh, work is going well!” “Still figuring out my five-year plan!”), and have an exit strategy planned in case things get too intense. Think of it like equipping yourself with the right tools for battle.
Stay Calm
Now, onto the actual event. Walking into a room full of relatives you haven’t seen in months (or years) can feel a bit like stepping into a fog-shrouded boss arena. Your heart starts racing, your palms get sweaty, and you start to wonder if you’re truly ready for what lies ahead. But just like in Elden Ring, the key is to stay calm and focused. Take a deep breath, remember your preparation, and dive in.
Dodging
One of the most important skills to master in Elden Ring is the art of dodging attacks. This comes in handy at family gatherings too, especially when dealing with those dreaded personal questions that always seem to come out of nowhere. “So, when are you going to settle down and get married?” “Have you thought about having kids?” “Why did you choose such an impractical career?” These inquiries can feel like a flurry of sword swipes and magic missiles, but with some deft maneuvering, you can roll out of the way relatively unscathed. Deflect with humor (“Oh, I’m just waiting for the right Tarnished to come along!”), change the subject (“Anyway, how about that local sports team?”), or if all else fails, chug a healing flask (or in this case, a big gulp of your drink) and regroup.
Pacing Yourself
Another key Elden Ring strategy that translates well to family gatherings is the importance of pacing yourself. Just as you wouldn’t blow through all your stamina in the first few seconds of a boss fight, it’s crucial not to expend all your social energy right out of the gate. Engage in conversations, but don’t be afraid to take breaks when needed. Step outside for some fresh air, offer to help in the kitchen (a great way to get a moment of respite), or even sneak off to check on your actual Elden Ring character’s progress. Managing your stamina will help you stay in the game for the long haul.
Stamina Management
Of course, even with the best preparation and stamina management, there may come a point where you feel like you’re on the brink of defeat. Maybe your cousin won’t stop talking about their latest pyramid scheme, or your aunt is relentlessly grilling you about your love life. In these moments, remember the wise words of many an Elden Ring message: “Try fingers, but hole.” Wait, no, wrong message. “Don’t give up, skeleton!” That’s the one.
Relax
When things get tough, think about all the challenging bosses you’ve overcome in your gaming adventures. Margit, the Fell Omen? Piece of cake. Starscourge Radahn? No problem. Malenia, Blade of Miquella? Okay, maybe she’s still kicking your ass, but the point is, you’ve persevered through countless trials and tribulations in the Lands Between. Surely you can handle a few hours with your eccentric family members.
And if all else fails, recall the ultimate escape tactic: the trusty Homeward Bone – a concept familiar to Dark Souls veterans, even if it’s sadly absent in Elden Ring. In this case, your “Homeward Bone” might be a well-timed excuse to leave early (“Oh no, I just remembered I left the stove on!”), a strategic bathroom break, or even a literal bone thrown to distract any pesky dogs (or toddlers) that might be nipping at your heels.
Conclusion
At the end of the day, surviving family gatherings is a lot like mastering a challenging video game. It takes patience, skill and a healthy dose of humor. So this holiday season, channel your inner Tarnished and face those awkward conversations and probing questions with the same tenacity and grace you bring to your Elden Ring adventures. And if things get really tough, just remember: at least you’re not fighting Malenia for the 147th time. Happy holidays, and may the Erdtree light your way!
… and by the way: we’re also having actual game Guides & Tips you might be interested in.
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